Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
