Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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