people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
