She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
