Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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