Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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