i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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