The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
