Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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