Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
