this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's not a foreskin expert like you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
