Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to make out with him forever
Come share oat with me in your robe
The power of my boobs compel you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
