nut hugger
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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