I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
