you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
