he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
