Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
