i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberryâs and told him to âWWE raw dog me.â Fucking kill me.
I didnât say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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