i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
