Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
