What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I look better un-naked...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
