Don't make out with my wife yet
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am naked and annoyed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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