just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
