Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize