Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
