Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize