If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
