we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize