my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
