Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize