I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
