i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
