Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
3 2 1 whiskey
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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