how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
