You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
