I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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