when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
