i don't like sucking hair
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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