Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
