it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
