i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
