that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
