i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
