When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
