I feel great
I just peed on a car
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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