So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
