i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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