wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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