I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
