we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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