i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
