I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
