There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
