He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
