My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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