grandma shit on top of the toilet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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