i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
