that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Drunk is not a location!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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