You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
