why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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